It is always good to take some time for a little self-reflection.  So, I want to ask:  do you want to be perfect?  But, do you also want to avoid frustration and anger?  Well, there is a problem here.  So today I want to send a warning about trying to be perfect.  It is not worth it!  How about being awesome? Being awesome, on the  other hand, is just fine!

Be Content With Being Awesome to Avoid Frustration and Anger

You see, the problem with trying to be perfect is that it is full of negative connotations.  It’s full of – imperfections!  Sounds odd, doesn’t it?  That trying to be perfect might be a problem.  So, let me explain.  These days, there are negative connotations around the labels ‘perfectionism’ and ‘perfectionist’.  These terms are actually associated with the problems around trying to be too perfect.  Trying to be too perfect can actually lead to procrastination.  And then, procrastination leads to frustration.  Then, frustration leads to anger.  And when you’re dealing with frustration and anger, it can cause a real blockage to being perfect.  The harder we try to be perfect, the harder it can be to ever achieve it.  What they call a ‘vicious cycle’. And then – BEWARE – should someone ever try to critique that person who is trying to be perfect.  Because that never goes down well.

Aim For Awesome

Instead, I venture to say that we should aim for awesome.  Because, we can all be awesome.  And we can be awesome without the added pressure of striving for perfectionism.  So no going down the path of frustration and anger.  We don’t need to do that to ourselves. But, do you perhaps perceive that even awesome is too hard to achieve? Then, I have some good news for you!  The good news is that you are already awesome.  Why?  Because you were born awesome.  And nothing can ever change that.

awesome [adjective] :

extremely impressive or daunting; inspiring awe

The question is – would you call yourself awesome?

If not – then why not? Because, you are. I am.  We all are.  And furthermore, I can prove it!

Born Awesome

Now, I would like to talk about being born awesome.  In fact – I lied – we were actually born as simply perfect.

perfect [adjective] :

having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be

It is a seldom acknowledged fact that when we were born, we were perfect. We were born perfect and that makes us awesome as well!

There could not have been a more complete example of perfection.  All babies are born beautiful.  And that includes you and I.  We were all born as lovable, adorable, gorgeous and totally perfect little babies.  We could not have possibly done anything to be less than perfect.  We we were simply awesome.  Ask your parent or guardian.  Ask any parent.  All babies are perfect, especially their own!

And I am going to say that we still have that same perfect, adorable and totally lovable person inside us.  We all do!

We can feel good about ourselves.  We can believe we are awesome.  And, we don’t need to go near the frustration and anger that can be brought about by aiming for perfection.

What is Your Focus On?

But if that statement – that you were born perfect and you are definitely awesome – does not feel like the truth, then we need to talk about that.  Because very few of us as adults seem to relate to the concept that we are perfect on the inside.  Most of us tend to focus on the negative aspects.  As you can imagine, this is not at all helpful.  Most of us tend to let our perceptions of what other people say or what other people think dominate our thoughts.  In other words, we allow other people’s judgements cloud our own opinion of ourselves.  And if our opinion of ourselves doesn’t meet up with our expectations?  Disappointment. Frustration. Frustration and Anger.

When Did it all Change?

We were probably fine until about school age.  And then – WHAM!

Then, the outside world really imposed itself on us at that young age.  Expectations, imperatives, influence, control and discipline.  The older we got, the more the outside world imposed itself on us.  And the more we have to conform to society.  And the more we are judged by society.

Like I said – WHAM.

Sounds scary doesn’t it?  For most of us our youth was a very impressionable time.  And for some of us also a time that could have been confusing, troubling and even demoralising.

What Other People Think of Us – is None of Our Business

Life just happens and that is generally the way it continues as we grow up through to adulthood.

And of course, we continue to adapt and conform for most of our life.

Sure, the process can take a long time to evolve.  And what tends to happen is that the longer that ‘life just happens’, the less we are aware of what is happening.  Until, one day, we have forgotten that we’re awesome.  We don’t realise that we really can’t feel that awesome, perfect and lovable inner self that was there when we were born.  That same self is still in there now.  However, we have wrapped layers and layers of protection around it.

We might have been told that we were less than awesome. We might have been shown that we are not as high achieving as others.  And furthermore, the enormous impact of social media shows us images and words every single day of other people who seem to be doing better than us. Unfortunately, we probably believed it.  Because that’s what the human brain does.  That is the sad part. Because apples aren’t being compared with apples, so the comparison is not true.

So, we strive to meet the high standards set for us, to avoid being criticized.  We strive to be as good as the next person.  Better, even.  To show we’ve made it.  We have to close off all weak points and appear perfect.  And, of course, that’s impossible.  So, frustration creeps in.  And from frustration comes anger.  We end up with frustration and anger and dissatisfaction.

Be Content with Awesomeness

ANNOUNCEMENT: We all need to know that our beautiful inner being never left us.  I’m here to remind you that we were all born awesome.  Yes, by existing, we are awesome.   You can never be less than awesome!

Now – my challenge for you is this.  Do you need to go and remind yourself that you are awesome?

Then I encourage you to get in touch with your inner self.  And if this is impossible, let me show you how!  If you end up with frustration and anger, I can help you with that.  I provide Anger Coaching to one on one to individuals.  From time to time I also run an Anger Management Course.  With both methods we work on understanding the protective layers we build up around ourselves over time.  We see the hurt and damage that has been done and the emotions we’ve buried in order to survive.  We get to the core of the very issues that result in frustration and anger problems. If you’re tired of dealing with this alone, call me for a no obligation conversation: