Sadly, it is true – when it comes to anger management our clientele is more male than female. There is more of a need for anger management for men, although many are referred by their female partners.

Women are often raised to turn their anger inward, because an angry woman is seen socially as unbecoming. Men, however, have been raised to express or vent their anger and feel it as a right of their masculinity and macho-ness. In fact, anger and indifference are two emotions considered socially acceptable for men to express. One would even say men tend to be encouraged not to have feelings and that it’s almost expected for some of them to have an anger outburst at times.

Not All Anger is Problematic Anger

Anger is a basic human emotion and not necessarily always a bad feeling to have. Understood and handled correctly in any given circumstance, it should only ultimately improve the situation without any person feeling unheard, insulted, bullied, hurt – emotionally or physically…

What Causes a Man to Have Anger Issues?

And, why are so many men so angry? It is imperative to understand that anger is a secondary emotion and often triggered by sentiments of a deeper suffering. It is an indication of specific unresolved emotion/s and issues. People who exist with negative thought patterns can find little relief from the negative emotions that result. Socially reinforced in men from a young age, anger helps in concealing a variety of other emotions that make men feel vulnerable such as fear, sadness, incompetence. Low self esteem can be a result. Anger helps to circumvent or suppress those feelings leaving the man feeling powerful and ‘in-control’ instead. Confident even. Suppressing anger is not healthy and often is the beginning of anger issues.

Understanding Men’s Anger Issues

Some men find anger and irritability a way to cope with the depression that ironically can develop from the stress and shame of constantly feeling angry. Many angry men can find it debilitating to examine the real issues and related agony that roots the anger. Most are conditioned to believe themselves weak to express sadness or fear, or less masculine to examine their feelings leave alone talk about them.

Then there are the angry men who, with great misdirection, use this anger to control not only their own inner feelings but also their partners’, leading to conflict, relationship or marriage breakdowns and yes, regrettably, physical and often times tragic, violence and domestic violence.

Anger Management to Manage Angry Feelings

It starts with a – preferably early – bout of self-awareness. After all, knowing and admitting you have a problem is half the solution. You can come to realise there are warning signs of an impending anger problem. When you begin to feel anger it is possible to identify triggers that are a giveaway. This is the the start of being able to manage your anger. There are ways to address and manage your anger that can allow you to move forward and away from your usual hostile state. And hopefully before there’s any chance of losing control, or before too much harm is done…

Meditation

With mindfulness, feel your anger, controlling its growth while it passes over; with kindness, note the anger you feel is borne from emotional discomfort, be kind and empathetic to yourself.

Support group

Being in the company of other ‘angry’ men and reviewing your similar experiences, which often relate to the traditional idea of masculinity, helps you feel supported and not alone.

Anger coach

Depending on your overall level of mental health and your preferred method of professional help, you are sure to benefit greatly from being listened to and heard by an expert in anger management. Learning new skills with such a specialist can help you uncover the root cause of your anger and thus pain. Problem anger can become a thing of the past when you learn to pick up on the emotional signals and develop strategies for diffusing anger in a healthy way. Our anger coaching is ideal for most people seeking guidance.  If we think we are not the people to help you, we will be honest and say so.

Call Us for Help with Anger Management

In our personalised anger management classes, we deal with anger problems men and women have. If you find you often feel angry and are becoming increasingly afraid you can’t control anger, we are ready to help. Identifying and concentrating on the heart-of-the-matter issues, getting to grips with your pain, asking yourself the right questions, arming you with hacks and hints to defuse, stop, recognise – you will be less susceptible to anger and more skilfull at dealing with those heavy emotions.

To express anger safely, appropriately and healthily, get in touch…

Call Anger Management Brisbane for a complimentary, obligation free consultation. Anger is a natural emotion and a healthy emotion and expressing anger is okay – if it’s expressed appropriately. Excessive anger and regular anger outbursts are not healthy and will negatively impact social and personal relationships. So, take the first step toward a healthier, genuine masculine state of mind. For your mental health and physical health, and for the people you care for around you, call us today.  Call to discover how anger management coaching with us can be a game changer.